foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
