Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
