Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
