i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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