i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
