You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
