Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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