there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
