Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
