nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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