I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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