He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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