It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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