So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
