just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
