I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
