I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
