5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
