i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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