people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
