For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
