Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
