just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
