he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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