i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i drank out of a bidet.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
