I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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