dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
