i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
