I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
