Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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