the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
