No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
