i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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