morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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