Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
