In the future we'll all be gay
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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