I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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