Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Drake has all the answers
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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