We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
