whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
