If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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