Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
