Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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