I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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