I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
