ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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