Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
