it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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