Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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