My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
