So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
