On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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