I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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