whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
