I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
