Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
sex in a hospital.. check
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
