I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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