You're so nebulous sometimes
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
