It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
