nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
