I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just had sex bonerless
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
