Christians are straight up FREAKS
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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