now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
